Have you ever heard someone refer to Jesus as their "homie"...well my friends its time we start showing respect! Jesus humbled himself to come down here and be our friend and eat amongst us...but his sacrifice for our existence has to be respected and glorified! He is the KING OF KINGS! Let us give Him Praise! Lord Jesus, You are our savior! You are our hero! You are the King of Kings, Lord of Lord! All praise be to You!

Don't believe the devil's lies!

Don’t believe the devil and his lies! You know when you get hurt by someone you trust, you say to yourself “I’m never trusting another person again…or I’m only looking out for myself…I will never let anyone get close to me ever again” …These are the lies that the devil wants us to believe! That all we need is ourselves!

Life hits us and we are cowards! Instead of get back up to give it another try, we QUIT!  I used to feed into the devil’s lies and think I was a coward for not leaving a bad situation…I stuck it out and got back up on my feet and didn’t give in. Sure I thought I was foolish and pathetic for staying but still, I didn’t leave my bad situation. I didn’t leave the person that was continually breaking my trust. But I still believed the lies and thought I was a coward to stay…I was stupid to stay…I was hopeless…I believed I was all the things I was told I was from those closest to me.

When my situation finally changed for the better, over time I came to realize that I was facing the devil and it was God who was protecting me. It was God pouring his strength into me to hold my family together as the devil was trying so hard to tear my family apart. It was GOD who was silently saying “GO AWAY FROM HER DEVIL! She will not back down! She will not give up on her family! She will not walk away! She is a blessed child of the Most High God and YOU CAN NOT HARM HER! SHE WILL NOT GIVE IN TO YOUR LIES!” I wasn’t a coward at all! God was working in my life and I didn’t even realize it. I was none of those lies the devil wanted me to believe I was!

Don’t let the devil have control of you! Free yourself! Trust in God to get you through tough situations. God didn’t put us on earth for our lives to be easy! It’s not a walk in the park from the day we are born! We have to realize it isn’t God forcing us into bad situations…sometimes it’s just life! It’s our own bad choices! We have free will!

God gives his love freely and unconditionally. He doesn’t FORCE Himself on us; that’s not LOVE! The devil forces himself into our lives. Through trials and tribulations, through fears, through our darkest moments…He has NO control over our life circumstance but he can send his demons to whisper in your ears during YOUR darkest moments and force you to tear yourself down. Convince you through your weakened minds to build walls, to harden your heart from loving/trusting again…Do NOT give in!

When the devil knocks you down, get back up! If he does it again, get back up! Do it in the name of Jesus! Let Jesus take the wheel and the devil will FLEE from your life!

James 4:7

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Welcome Jesus into your broken, untrusting heart and he will teach you how to love again…how to forgive…and how to trust again!

But don’t take my words for it dear friends! Open your Holy Bible and let God start to change you…one step at a time! God bless you all!

A Piece of My Testimony

There's so much more to the story...but for the sake of having more to write in this blog...I'm going to give you piece by piece...

2/19/2013

God sent me another affirmation this morning. Actually I heard pastor Greg Laurie say something on his youtube channel and then God affirmed what he said in me this morning. Pastor Laurie mentioned something along the lines of being an outcast or never really finding your “nitch” in the world. He said it was because your true life is with God and that you aren't of this world.  So God brought that phrase into my mind this morning and showed me reasons why the desires of my heart were never achieved.

Growing up I never really had a tight group of friends that lasted the ages. I mean in elementary school I kept a best friend from first grade but once we hit high school, we faded away. Then I went from best friend to best friend. Secretly I wanted to be part of the popular crowd, but I didn’t fit in with them either. I was always a pretty girl but being heavier I was never truly “liked” by the boys in my school. Over time I developed this huge crush on a football star and consumed my high school years with vying for his attention. Sure he flirted and made sexual advances but never wanted the relationship I longed for. I wasn’t part of the “it” crowd. I didn’t excel in sports. I didn’t get along with the athletes because I didn’t find them feminine enough for my taste in friends. Some of the popular girls and boys enjoyed my sense of humor but still no friendships lasted. Once people got to know me, the liked me, the problem was I still couldn’t “fit in”. I didn’t do the “cool” things like party, drink, smoke weed. Even with my own family I was always the oddball artsy one. I kept to myself locking myself up in my room. I drew, I wrote, I danced. But I never was super close with any of my sisters. We had our times of close friendships together sure, but they fizzled over time. Even to this day I feel like an outcast among them.

Even with my teenage boyfriends I didn't feel comfortable. I remember my first boyfriend Jorge, I was crazy for him. But he was so fake to me. He didn’t open up his true self to me and our relationship ended the same way he ended every other relationship before me…by finding someone new.

After that break up at 17, I became too promiscuous looking for a boyfriend to fill the pain. No one lasted. I still couldn’t understand what it was about ME that no one stood around for.

After high school I dreamed of becoming a famous dancer…that didn’t happen. Then I met up with an old friend and we started enjoying going out, clubbing, and partying. But with me becoming pregnant just months after my 21^st birthday, I didn’t fit in any more with the party goers.

When I met Michael, my now husband, I was almost 19. Unfortunately, he was just the same as the other guys I dated. Acted like he was looking right through me trying to see what “better woman” he could find. I loved him and fought for his attention more than I ever have with anyone in my entire life. But still, he didn't see me. Sure I was there and longing for his love which he took advantage of and I mistook as actual love. But God was with me in this relationship and truly gave me a love for Michael like I never experienced with any other individual in my life. Not even my own family. A love so strong that I couldn’t let him go.  There have been many people in and out of my life and I let them go easily without hesitation or looking back. But I could never do this with Michael. I never understood why until later in life, even after we had children together I couldn’t understand WHY I stood with him after everything. I mean he cheated, we fought, it was a mess. A repetitive and seemingly endless mess. 

Actually only recently have I realized why I truly stayed with Michael for so long through so much. Michael was my road to God. Simple as that but there is NOTHING simple about it. God put me through a lot of tests in that relationship and I failed a lot of them but the main test I believe God helped me persevere. Jesus is my Lord and Savior, I claim that now. I absolutely claim that now.

But let me get back to my point…Even working at a big office I didn’t always get along with the employees. Girls formed little “cliques” and I was sort of a drifter. Drifting from one group of girls to the next. I wasn’t a bar hopper so I didn’t fit in with the partiers. I wasn’t a church goer so I didn’t fit in with the Christians. I wasn’t ghetto so I didn’t fit in with the hood girls. Actually if I truly got along with any one in the office it was the younger crowd. I befriended Amy who was a super smart girl. She was intelligent and was aware of the world as I was so we could have long intelligent conversations. But soon our relationship fizzled after I left the company. I also got along with this young boy named Pedro. We were like brother and sister but once we started meddling in each other’s personal lives we realized we were TOO much like brother and sister. We annoyed each other and fought every day.

After I left there I gave being a makeup artist a try. Time after time, hustle after hustle, I tried to break it in the industry. But I wasn’t going to travel to NYC every week. I wasn’t going to step into the video vixen industry. I didn’t enjoy doing makeup for half naked women. It felt wrong in my heart. Although I still enjoy being a makeup artist, I no longer aspire to work with celebrities and models. I just want my own makeup & nail salon with regular everyday people.

I do youtube videos but even up until last week I was questioning why I can’t get as many subscribers/followers as other makeup artist…

So now I get back to my point. Pastor Greg Laurie said if you can’t find your nitch in the world, its because you are NOT of this world. And I was like…WOW! I am not of this world. I didn’t get popular in school because maybe if I had friendships that stood the tests of time, I would never have found God because I would have found my support in them. I never became a dancer , a famous mua, or anything else that would have made me accepted by the world because God wanted me to understand I was already accepted by Him. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I don’t want to be well liked and popular in the world’s eyes. I am already loved and welcomed in God’s grace and mercy! How could I have been so blind to this even as recently as last week?! Thank you Father for affirming this within me. I now know I am on the right path and whatever you bless me with in the meantime will all just be a part of my road back home to you Lord. I love you I welcome you Lord Jesus and I am thankful for everything!